Young Erstwhile Paramedic (having just been dispatched to an "Urban Camper" who the cops were trying to remove from the lawn of a motel): Good afternoon, Sir. I am a young erstwhile paramedic, who has been called to assist you. How may I be of assistance?

Drunk Urban Camper: I been shittin' blood for two days!

YEP:Ah, I see. Here, let me help you into the ambulance.

<Stagger, stagger, stagger>

I want to first appologize to any Drs or Nurses who may read this article. I do not intend to offend you in any way, in fact I respect you all for what you do and as fellow healthcare providers. But.... 

If there is one thing that frustrates me more about this feild of work that is trying to interprit the many curves, angles and scribbles of a doctors handwriting. First off cursive was cool, back in like 4th grade.